Saturday, September 24, 2016

"Spooky Scary Skeletons..."

Alright, y'all. Lets take a moment to talk about the struggle of Halloween. There's nothing worse than finding the perfect costume that's "just your size"--but upon putting the damn thing on you feel like
everything is going to burst out of the seams.

Don't get me wrong--there are some amazing plus size clothing for males and females out there---however, today we're going to highlight some of the worst male Halloween costumes. Because, I've been looking for some amazing Halloween costumes, and I've found it's better to buy in person so you can try the damn thing on. Because 75% of the time the person in the photo of your plus sized costume isn't plus sized.

And this has NOTHING to do with policing what people wear, I'm just saying my fat ass isn't going to squeeze into something that a model with a six pack has worn. It's sure as hell NOT going to look like that on me! The struggle is TOO real, y'all!


Adult Skin Suit Costume -

Do I really need to explain this monstrosity? As a fat dude the last thing I want is a piece of fabric tight as hell on my body. I think I'd look like a fucking dumpling. I mean... look at the white one--DUMPLING. 

Not to mention buying one of these bad boys would set you back $61.99!

Men's Medieval Executioner Costume -

Okay. This right here is what I was talking about. Here's a guy who's "hot" by societies standards... I'm over here looking at this damn thing like "Well, he's tall and he's got muscles.... do I want to wear it and look like a fuckin' hobgoblin?" 

Uhm, No! And this is a REAL big problem with men's clothing in general. Just because something looks good in a small doesn't mean it's going to look good in extra extra large. Throwing more fabric on a design doesn't do shit but make the costume look ill fitting on whoever is wearing it!

$46.99 -- A better deal than the dumpling, I guess.

Tweedledee & Tweedledum - 

What the hell? This is something that pisses me off---here we have a fat character--cool! But why is their a slim guy wearing it? Just like above, just because it looks good on a small guy doesn't mean it'll look good on me. Now in Party City's defense they do have some plus size costumes actually worn by plus size men---but this one just sucks! 

$49.99 -- Though, thinking of it--maybe it'll look better on me because home boy looks like he needs to attend a few tea parties.


Fat Suit Costume -

You've got to be fucking kidding me! There are several types of 'fat' costumes ranging from blow up costumes to this shit. My body type is not a fucking costume. Shame on any company carrying "fat suits."

Like... I honestly cannot see how this is cool or funny in any situation. It'll just make you look like a fucking douche bag and I'm honestly saddened this shit exists....

You can get fucking fat for the small price of $49.99.... What a load of garbage.

And that is just a peek into the world of plus size male Halloween fails--don't you worry, I'm going to tear apart plus size Halloween costumes for females and highlight some costumes for both genders. I just get so hype about fall y'all--I hope you do too! 

Until Next Time,

p.s. I fucking love candy corn--send me what you don't want.

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