Monday, September 5, 2016

"If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else..."

I've dated and been emotionally involved with so many people, I really can't keep track at this point. If I've learned anything we're all fucking damaged. Regardless if it's emotional or even not liking your appearance. It happens.

But at some point you have to ask yourself, is what I'm hating about myself ~ my hair, my nose, my pimples, my weight, my height, am I going to allow myself to look past that? In the wise words of RuPaul "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else!"

I used to struggle with that quote because I'd pick myself apart while trying to look for love. I'd exhaust myself at the gym, I'd dress however the guy I fancied thought I should dress--and at some point in the adventure not only did I still not love myself I forgot who I was.

And I didn't do the work on my own--you truly need to work though your things but it's okay to ask for help along the way. I had the chance to meet Jes Baker and hear her speak--which kind of kicked off Chunky Lemonade.

I woke up the next morning, looked in the mirror and smiled. Yeah--I'm short, fat, lopsided beard wearing cub who is really fucking cute. At that moment I fell in love with myself. And you know what, I still have lots of work to do, I talk to a counselor I have bad body image days--it's okay.

But at some point you have to accept "This is me, I don't need to change for anyone." Once I did that I found myself going out on more dates and just really putting myself into the world and being proud of the chunky hunk that I am. It's not easy, but you're worth it, love yourself!

Now the second thought when it comes to this topic is dating other people.

When someone sees flaws in themselves, all of those issues listed above. It's best for you to realize that you really can't do much to help the person unless they're willing to listen.

I'm a Cancer, I'm emotional as fuck and only want the best for my boyfriends. I go above and beyond, reminding them that they're super amazing and trying to help them see it. Did it make them smile? Yeah. Did it help anything going on in their head? No.

Don't try to fix people--self acceptance has to come from within.

Self acceptance is possibly one of the hardest adventures you'll have in life. I mean society is telling us FAT IS BAD, FAT IS UNHEALTHY, FAT IS UGLY. And it's not just focused at fat people there are so many adverts and commercials trying to get you to fix your "flawed" body.

It's like this:

Just fucking love people but most importantly LOVE YOURSELF.

Until next time,

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