Monday, September 12, 2016

"I won't apologize for the fire in my eyes..."

Part One of Two.
Suicide, Rape.

Did you know that September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month? I didn't until I heard about it on the radio the other day. I've written 'It gets better' type posts for other projects but never had the chance to sit down and tell the story that changed my life for the better.

I used to be an online personality that blogged, reviewed, made stupid youtube videos--all based around Young Adult literature. This all started when I was sixteen--and it happened pretty fast. 

I'm not going to say I had the best childhood ever--my mother was a single parent and did the best that she possibly could to raise me. I'm so thankful for her and her continued support of everything I do.

Growing up I was diagnosed with SLE Lupus, I was always the baby of the family--I was told I wouldn't live to my graduation. Home life could be hard too, we struggled, I was verbally abused, mentally abused and raped by a family member.

As a child I had a lot of shit on my plate--but I kept it all bottled up and kept pushing forward to be the best me that I could possibly be.

Through my online blogging I met a man named Ned Vizzini. He was a huge nerd just like me and started writing at a very young age. At one point he had sold an idea for a novel... the deadline was approaching and he was having some serious issues with the book. He knew that if he didn't finish the book he would have to pay back anything the publisher gave him in his advanced salary. 

Young Ned only could think of one way out. Suicide. Thankfully he called, reached out for help and received the help he needed. 

Fast forward to us meeting--he was everything I wanted to be when I got older. He was a writer for TV shows, a best seller, writing books with the director of a Harry Potter film and even had one of his own books turned into a movie.

Ned was on a great path... He was a suicide awareness advocate and helped me through a lot of tough shit. 

And for the first time in Chunky Lemonade history--I'm making this a two part blog. Sharing large pieces of your life--as well as a survivor story is a lot more exhausting than I was expecting. I hope to have the second half out this week.

Until Next Time,

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