Wednesday, August 24, 2016

"I'm better sleeping on my own."

Guys! Blogging can be hard.

First of all most of my time working on Chunky Lemonade consists me sitting at a computer or with my fatshionesta friend Ashley saying "I should update the blog... but I feel so stupid." And you know what, that's not really productive at all.

This is my blog, people are going to love--some are going to hate, what I have to say. But what everyone has to say is important. So today we're going to talk about BREAKUPS, because that's what's on my mind.

To open this blog, I'm going to say I have exes, recent and old--this is for everyone, not just you.

You're so vain you probably think this blog is about you~!


#1: If someone says they want out, let them go.
The worst thing I've ever done is stayed in a relationship five months after the person wanted to breakup. But we decided to try to work through it, we had the same friends and kind of built everything together here. We broke up shortly after Valentine's day--but before Easter.

#2: If it didn't work the FIRST time, prolly not going to work
Now, I'm not speaking for anyone. But if you're already having problems and breaking up at the two month RUN THE OTHER WAY. Someone obviously isn't ready.

#3: Don't be a sour LEMON
If they have your shit--do you want them to destroy it? Prolly not. Don't be an asshole, pack it up in boxes and leave it at that. Give them a time to pick it up--if they don't donate that shit. Close the book you two were writing and leave it in those damn boxes. 

#4: Feelinz R A'Okay!
It's okay to talk to the person breaking up with you/you broke up about leftover emotions. But don't put yourself down. You're a power fucking Chunk. You deserve the best!

#5: You're perfect!
Fat is fucking sexy. Work that fat ass and wear clothes that make you feel cute. You and your body in general is not the issue here. Don't put yourself down or try to latch onto something new because you're scared to be alone. YOU'RE PERFECT. Wait for prince charming to come along and spend some time with YOU.

#6: Fuck the pain away? / Moving on
As said in #5, be fine being with YOU. You're amazing, everyone thinks so or else they wouldn't say so. Do whatever you need to do: art, dates, cleaning, crying, scribbling all over photos of them--whatever. Just be fine being you, sex is great and awesome, but personally that's not something that works for me after a breakup. Find peace with you, yourself and YOU!

#7: Dates
Go on dates, lots. You have to kiss a lot of fucking toads to find a prince--I know, I'm still kissin' on these slimy bastards.
And really, as someone who just broke up--Being in a relationship doesn't mean your friend time has to be limited. I ended up missing my friends and they missed me too---some even felt abandoned. Love can be a fucked up pair of beer goggles. Think before making a move in this game of life.

Feeling down? Don't hurt yourself--get help: 

Until next time,

p.s. thanks 2 all the friends who helped me through shitty situations with this advice.


  1. Replies
    1. XOXO, Maybe one day I'll spill the details... You know when we actually bake and make candles together. :*